Riza's Day Off
by Legendary Chimera
Summary: Riza learns that a man who needs a babysitter himself should not be trusted with animals. [mangavers, oneshot, cheesy royainess]


Disclaimer: I do not own FMA. This one-shot was inspired by the Royai Forums newest contest prompts. I won't exactly be entering with a judge status, but I thought I'd give it a try.

Contest Prompt: incorporate Black Hayate and at least one character drunk

Theme: celebrations

Requirements: 500-1000 words

Actual words present: 1,885 (oops!) I'm not an actual contestant ;) Figures, for the stuff I need to update I got nothing. Yet I go overboard on something new!

Manga-verse

Warnings: a sort of alcohol abuse, tinsy-winsy spoiler for early chapters. You might not be able to tell

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For once Lieutenant Hawkeye had the day off from work, and she was missing the festival of the season! Mustang's unit had the good fortune to get a break and here Riza was stuck cleaning of all things. She was just as tempted as the men to go sample the festivities, but now she had no excuse for not unpacking her things. It had been at least two years since she moved to Central and her belongings were still scattered about in boxes that littered her apartment floors. Riza wondered if she would ever have a relaxing day off.(1) 

As Riza went through a box of dish ware in her rarely used kitchen where she was busy thinking of all the sweet apple goodness that could be gracing her presence right about now. She had such a craving for apple pie, and the strong odor of cinnamon wafting through her open window didn't help quail it one bit. None the less, the ever diligent lieutent sifted through her belongings determined not to put it off any longer. It's not that she wasn't irresponsible by any means, she just never had time for personal errands when working for a man such as Mustang.

Just when she was starting to make a dent in her chores the sound of shattering glass echoed throughout her apartment. She sighed as she located the source of the noise. Her little angel Black Hayate apparently had tried to 'help' his mommy with her work. The little pup looked guilty at the mess he had made and shrank back in fear of his gun-toting caretaker.

'I'm never going to get anywhere at this rate,' she rationalized noting that this was not a place for puppies to play at the moment. But what could she do with him? Her first thought was to ask Fuery to babysit, but the last time she had tried that she almost didn't get the dog back. He just loved animals too much. The Elrics were out of the question since Alphonse would pose the same problem as Fuery, and she felt guilty shoving the job on Falman after he was forced to 'babysit' that horrible criminal a while back(2). She didn't trust Havoc with looking after other living beings and there was no way that Breda would do it. That left Mustang. Even if the man sometimes needed a caretaker himself, he and Hayate got along good enough. He could take care of a dog right?

Hawkeye quickly packed up a day bag for her pup as if she was taking a child to the daycare center and soon leashed him for the walk. Upon arrival at her superior's residence, she noticed the dark windows which looked devoid of life. Either he was out enjoying the festival, or he was in a bad mood. She started having second thoughts. Before she could reconsider he opened the door having noticed her from behind the drapes of his sitting room.

"Lieutenant, what do I owe this pleasure?" he inquired flashing her one of his charming smiles. He had been preparing to go out for the afternoon and his hopes leaped at the idea of having Riza as his companion.

"Forgive the intrusion sir, but I have a favor to ask of you," Riza paused suddenly unsure of how to go about it.

"Anything for you," he teased knowing it would ruffle her feathers. Not to mention they weren't in the office so he could get away with it.

"Yes well," she cleared her throat in attempts to ignore his commentary," I was wondering if you would be so kind as to watch Black Hayate for me. I haven't had the chance to unpack since moving here and it's just not safe for him to be wondering around," she paused hoping he would bite.

"Unpacking?!?!? You've been here for two years! Why not take the day off and have some fun at the festival?" Mustang pleaded. She was the most loyal and dedicated in his command, she deserved nothing less. Besides that he was in shock to find that her apartment was in chaos after all this time because he was running her like crazy. Even though Hawkeye's face remained impassive, he could tell she was giving her vision of the puppy-dog-pout. It was almost uncanny how they could read each other's seemingly stoic expressions.

"Alright, I'll take him," he sighed in defeat. It looked as if he wasn't going anywhere today. Riza thanked him and headed towards her place eager to get things done. Once he had the dog settled he did a decent job caring for the animal. He even played with Hayate. He was just grateful that the boys from the office weren't there to see him playing tug-of-war with the mutt. Just as the thought had processed his brain there was a knock on the door. Mustang growled as he tried to straighten himself out and went to answer it.

"Hey Roy! What are you doing in on a nice day like this?" Hughes and the rest of the boys greeted him. 'Speak of the devils' , Roy moaned internally.

"Dog sitting," he answered impassively as Hayate whimpered for the acknowledgment," what are you doing here?"

"We think the better question is why aren't you out enjoying the party? There's plenty of wine, pie and ladies awaiting us," Havoc stated trying to persuade him to join them.

"But what about the mutt?" he pondered. There would have been no point in him agreeing to the task if he went out himself.

"Come ON Roy, lighten up a bit. The pup will be fine for an hour or so!," Maes pouted like a five year old.

Roy rolled his eyes and looked to Falman and Fuery to help. Apparently they had found the dog more entertaining then himself and were continuing their previous game. "You're so cute!" they both proclaimed as Breda inched further out the door with perspiration now visible on his skin.

"Besides," Havoc said as he light up one of his famous cigarettes, "The Elric Brothers are in town. I'm sure with your official status we can get away with loosening Ed up a little with the wine. Think of the opportunities!. Whadaya say?"

'_Well, when he puts it like that...'_

"I'm in!", Roy announced excitedly and rushed to the closet to get his coat. The blackmail possibilities raced around in his mind until he focused long enough to secure the dog in the parlor. With an air of grandeur the boys headed out into the town celebration ready for a party.

Four_ hours later..._

Roy Mustang returned home after a fun evening with his closest friends and having to practically carry a very intoxicated Fullmetal home to his dorm. It had been well worth the trip. Havoc and Maes had never let him down yet, and the evidence of his younger suboordinate's latest exploits were a testimony to their loyalty. The episode replayed in his mind as he used the key on his door. He was in a positively glowing mood until he reached the parlor where he had last seen the dog.

What he found instead was enough to make his blood boil and cower in fear simultaneously. In one corner of the furnished room was an exquisite oak wine cabinet that he had crafted himself with alchemy. One of the doors had been gnawed on and a few expensive bottles of the alcoholic substance were shattered. The wine that was left had stained the wooden floors, but the colonel didn't have to investigate much further to discover where the rest of the wine had run off too. A hiccuping, drooling, and highly disoriented black puppy staggered over to great his caretaker. There was no mistaking the glazed and giddy look in the dog's eyes, Black Hayate was tanked.

Scrambling to take control of the situation, Roy quickly fixed the mess with alchemy. The splintered wood was replaced, and the stain evaporated. He discarded the broken glass and useless wine himself. Now all he had to do was sober the canine at least enough that his mistress wouldn't notice. He tried everything he could think of, but to no avail. All he could do was wait for the agonizing hour to pass when his first lieutenant would come for her pet. After what seemed like an eternity the doorbell rang. As he went to answer the door he tried to think of something, _anything _that would distract the observant woman from noticing his mistake. The military man opened the door to meet his fate.

"L-Lieutenant, glad to see you again," Roy stammered. He mentally kicked himself wondering if he sounded suspicious already.

"Thank you for doing this. I finally finished cleaning and didn't want to burden you any longer." Riza replied as she peeked past the man looking for her dog, "I hope he wasn't too much trouble."

"None at all," he replied secretly hoping that for once she had not concealed her gun on her person.

As Riza called the pup's name she noticed the colonel was acting a tad odd. Then she spotted a piece of glass that he had neglected to clean up. "Hayate, here." She commanded and the puppy rushed over to her. Roy froze.

"Good boy, heal. Oh no, did he break something?" Hawkeye asked pointing to the glass left on the floor.

Gah! He couldn't let her see the evidence! Roy stepped in front of both the dog and the mess in the background blocking them from view. In a desperate attempt to distract Hawkeye, Mustang suddenly took Riza in his arms dipping her so that the view was blocked. Then in the most fashionable way he could muster, claimed her lips as his. What was initiated out of desperation soon turned passionate, but Riza pushed away too stunned to comprehend what had just occurred.

"Wha-," she stammered still in awe. Even she couldn't tell if she was angry or just embarrassed. But there was something else...

"I just wanted you to have at least one memorable day off," he whispered while he felt his pulse race out of control. He wondered if she felt the same indescribable spark that had ignited within him.

"I-I got to go...," she fumbled for an excuse, "...feed Hayate. Come boy!", she snapped on his leash, scooped his bag up on her shoulder and nearly flew out the door.

Roy reluctantly closed the door after her and watched her hurry down the street past vendors and children. He sighed and closed the drapes, preparing to go clean up the rest of the mess that had started the whole thing.

Riza Hawkeye's boots stomped off down the street until little Hayate seemed to lag behind. His sudden lack of balance and direction had started to worry her. She decided enough was enough when he ran into two fruit stands in a row. She picked the pup up to inspect him and noticed his glassy eyes. He hiccuped as a string of drool dangled from his lips. He wreaked of booze. Her face screwed up in agitation.

"ROY MUSTANG!", she shouted startling a nearby infant and a flock of pigeons. Somewhere nearby in an uptown apartment a certain colonel felt an ominous chill run up and down his spin.

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(1) I believe in the manga version it's said that Riza's place is a tad untidy due to the lack of time to properly unpack, even if she had been there for two years! I'm not even sure if that's accurate, but it works for me. 

(2) This is in reference to the chapters in which Falman is basically forced into baby sitting Barry the Chopper. Poor guy.

A/N: Please forgive the awkwardness! The only time I had to properly prepare this was mentally while driving during my commute. (Probably shouldn't do that anymore;) I hardly had time to edit with all of the studying I need to do . Secondly, I DONT' WRITE ROMANCE! I was at a loss for an ending so I opted for choking on fluff. Lastly, please forgive any oocness, I blame the wine. Thanks for reading!


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